Growing up evangelical, prayer journaling was encouraged—especially for girls. It was seen as a sacred act, a spiritual discipline, and a “safe place” to pour out your heart to God. But looking back, those journals feel like time capsules from a life I wasn’t allowed to question.
Recently, I did something. I initially planned to take my prayer journals and discuss them on the podcast with my friend, Lindsey Williams. After reviewing them, I thought, “I wonder what would happen if I had AI analyze these?” On a whim, I decided to input years of my prayer journal entries into an AI tool and request that it analyze the patterns. I gave it a prompt, including that I was raised in the fundamental evangelical movement.
What came back was heartbreaking and validating.
In this new podcast episode, I sit down with the incomparable Lindsey Williams—makeup artist, IBLP survivor, and featured voice in Shiny Happy People—to unpack the patterns, programming, and pain that surfaced when my own words were reflected to me.
This episode is raw. It’s vulnerable. And it’s a clear reminder of how high-control religion shapes every part of your identity—from your body and sexuality to your thoughts, relationships, and politics.
We discuss:
What my prayer journals revealed about fear conditioning
How spiritual obedience and dissociation often looked the same
Using AI as a tool for trauma analysis and recovery
Why so many exvangelicals feel "a decade behind" in life
How Christian nationalism is using the same playbook we were raised with
What it takes to rebuild your sense of self after spiritual abuse
We didn’t choose to become experts in authoritarian religion—we became that by surviving it.
If you are exploring deconstruction, healing from religious trauma, or seeking words for what you were told never to question, this episode is ideal for you.
Support My Work:
I’ve officially closed my Patreon and moved everything here to Substack. Substack allows me to do what I love most: write, podcast, and build community—all in one space.
If this work resonates with you, consider subscribing. You can join for free or support with a monthly or yearly subscription. Your support helps me continue to tell the truth, break the silence, and create content that challenges power while making space for healing.
Share this post